


and I won't waste a minute

by DecemberCamie



Series: Hunter x Dæmons [4]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Daemons, Angst, Canon Universe, Daemons, Don't copy to another site, Greed Island Arc, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 12:48:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24850030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DecemberCamie/pseuds/DecemberCamie
Summary: “Fine. Don’t apologize,” Gon's dæmon says. “But we need to at least get Ariney back. And you better think twice before using Killua and Ariney as springboards for finding Ging and Katyin again.”Gon wrinkles his nose. “I didn’twantto use Killua and Ariney like that. There was just no other option.”"Yeah, well, the next time there’s ‘no other option’, it had better be for a better cause than achieving your goals, Gon. I don’t want to lose them just because you were blinded by ambition.”Gon huffs.'That’s kind of rich, coming from my own soul.''That’s exactly why I’m saying it. I know you best. And I know how much it would hurt for us to lose our only friends.'
Relationships: Gon Freecs & Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck
Series: Hunter x Dæmons [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1516133
Comments: 21
Kudos: 127





	and I won't waste a minute

**Author's Note:**

> HunterxHunter with dæmons, focusing on Gon and his dæmon, Jax, dealing with the aftermath of Razor's dodgeball game during the Greed Island Arc!
> 
> The title of this fic comes from the song ['Open Your Eyes' by The Snow Patrol.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SND7aGdl5Fw)

_'You shouldn’t have let Killua do that.'_

Gon stays focused on the task at hand—focusing on balancing on one arm, gathering all his life and energy and Nen into his palm before pushing it out into the hard dirt.

It didn’t work. That’s okay, though. Gon didn’t expect it to work any better this time than all the other times. He’s been at this Emitter training for days now and he’s starting to suspect that maybe this level is a bit harder to pass than Bisky and Bayanai let on when they first assigned it to him.

_'Gon.'_

Sweat drips into Gon’s eyes and he blinks it away. He can’t afford distractions right now. And yet— _'It’s been days, Jax. Can’t you let it go?'_

 _'No.'_ The bristling anger is strong and prickling, a wildfire raging up in a moment’s notice. It’s been simmering under the surface of their bond ever since the dodgeball fight. _'I won’t let it go. How can you keep ignoring it like it’s nothing? Ariney can’t_ walk, _Gon!'_

Breathe. Focus. Gather the Nen under his palm...push!

“Haa—!”

Gon is forced about a foot off the ground—it’s just a bit further than he’s made it so far and he lets out a yelp in surprise. The shock of some progress is enough to make him unsteady. His arm crumples under his weight on the landing and a second later his back collides with the desert ground. Air leaves his lungs, pain splintering up his spine, and he gasps.

“Ahh...ow…” he groans aloud. The afternoon sun’s rays are hot and intense on his cheeks. It burns. He squints up at the endless blue sky as he breathes in deep—

And then a shadow falls across his face. Gon blinks rapidly. Jax looks down at him, expression unimpressed even in his current form of a jackal. He’s been that shape for several days now, Gon realizes. He can’t remember the last time Jax had kept a form for that long. Was it his anger at Gon that kept him from shifting? Or was it a sign of something more permanent to come?

Gon doesn’t know if he’s ready for either scenario to be true. Jax is angry at him, sure. But he’s never been so mad at Gon that he’s defied his natural instinct to change and try something new. The idea of Jax not changing at all anymore is a little unnerving. Gon doesn’t feel ready yet for Jax to Settle. 

But Jax has to stop changing eventually...right?

“That looks like it hurt,” Jax says, unsympathetic and cold. 

Gon frowns. “You _know_ it did. You can feel my pain.”

“Exactly. You’re my human and I’m your dæmon. We’re connected. So are Ariney and Killua, even though they’re Separated.”

Gon pushes himself up, his frown turning into a scowl. “How long are you going to be mad at me for this? It was _your_ idea for someone to hold the ball while I used my special technique! I was just doing what you suggested.”

Jax bristles. His fur stands on edge and he bares his teeth at Gon, as if ready to attack. _'I_ _t wasn’t my idea to have Killua be the person to hold the ball! You used him, Gon! You hurt him and Ariney both!'_

 _'Someone had to do it!'_ Gon snaps. His head is pounding from their rolling anger. It echoes back and forth along their bond, swelling and growing with each pass. It’s all-consuming.

_'Why did it have to be them?! It could have been anyone—anyone but them! They’re our best friends—'_

“That’s _exactly_ why it had to be them!” Gon finally shouts, unable to hold it in a moment longer. His frustration is bursting inside him like fireworks and Jax’s responding fury isn’t helping. “It _had_ to be them, because I don’t trust anyone else! I—I know how strong they are. I knew they could handle it. And I was right. We won. And it’s because _they_ were there, holding the ball. Doesn’t that make it all worth it?”

Jax growls lowly. _'We haven’t seen Ariney since we got here. What do you think?'_

Gon’s chest heaves. He hates this. Humans and their dæmons aren’t supposed to fight. It’s wrong, warring against your very self. But he’s not the only one to blame for this and Jax knows it. 

_'You said,'_ Gon starts, speaking only to Jax this time. _'You said that we would find Ging. Whatever it takes. Remember? We made a promise.'_

_'That was before.'_

_'Before, what?'_

_'You_ know _what.'_

Jax eyes are a bright, intense yellow. He looks at Gon as if seeing right through him, as if he knows something about Gon that Gon doesn’t. It’s an unnerving feeling and for a moment, the anger and self-loathing battling inside him fizzle out.

There’s a pause as the pair continues to stare at each other. The sun beats down on them, the sand heating under Gon’s legs, but still they don’t move.

Because Gon doesn’t understand. Normally his dæmon is so straightforward, so blunt. But Jax might as well be speaking another language right now. What does Jax mean, _before?_ Before they came to Greed Island? Before they met Killua and Ariney? Before they saw how strong their friends were in the face of their family’s cruelty? Before they learned of Killua and Ariney’s willingness to stay by his and Jax’s side no matter where in the world this journey took them? 

“GON!”

Gon and Jax jump. Gon twists around on his knees, heart falling when he sees Bisky there, hands on her hips and pink eyes narrowed. Bayanai is behind her, his great horned head tilted to the side as he regards them both.

And then there’s Killua. Gon’s best friend stands next to their teacher with his bandaged fists shoved deep in his pockets. Killua’s been doing that a lot recently, Gon has noticed and Jax has made a point to tell Gon more than once. Why is he hiding his hands—so Gon won’t see them and feel worse than he already does?

“Did we tell you to stop?” Bisky challenges and Gon winces at the warning of her tone.

“I’m sorry, Bisky! I’ll start again right now.”

“You better. Otherwise I’ll have to punish you.”

“Osu!”

He jumps to his feet immediately as Bisky and Bayanai turn away. Killua lingers, a frown curling on the edges of his lips. Gon smiles to reassure him but the worry in those blue eyes don’t fade.

“C’mon, Killua!” Bisky calls. “Bayanai wants to show you the rock he found.”

“Coming.”

Killua gives him and Jax a final look before jogging to catch up with their mentors. Gon stares after him a moment longer. If Killua is in pain, he doesn’t look it. He carries himself with the same ease and hidden grace that he always has. The only difference, really, is that Ariney isn’t at his side. But she’s been gone for days now.

That had been the norm, once upon a time. Gon vividly remembers how distant Killua and Ariney acted towards each other at the Hunter Exam. They spent most of their time apart, too used to the Zoldycks' ways and leaving space between them to complete missions they no longer had. It was only now, a year later spent building up trust again and relearning each other, did they seem to gravitate towards one another like a non-Separated dæmon and human pair. 

Seeing them apart now only brought back sad-tinged memories of when Gon first met the pair. 

_'I still think you should apologize,'_ Jax says once Gon is carefully balanced on one hand again.

 _'If I do that,'_ Gon says, brows furrowed, _'Killua will see it as an insult. I just know it. You saw their reaction when I said Killua was the only one who could hold the ball. They were_ happy, _Jax.'_

 _'That doesn’t matter! All that matters is that they’re hurting, and_ we _are the ones that caused it. That has to be why Ariney is hiding—she doesn’t want to show us how bad the pain is for them. Killua can hide it better because he’s human. But it’s harder for us dæmons. We’re your very souls put on display.'_

Gon bites the inside of his cheek. He knows that. Jax is a true reflection of Gon, after all. He says what they’re thinking and goes after what they want before Gon can even make a plan to carry it out. He’s blunt and ambitious and just as wild as Gon is.

So for Jax to be saying all these things…

 _Breathe,_ Gon tells himself and he does. _Focus. Gather the Nen under his palm...push!_

Gon grunts as his own energy lifts him off the ground. He lands hard, but this time manages to keep his balance. 

“I—I can’t apologize,” he tells his dæmon with a pant. “I won’t insult Killua by saying something I don’t mean. I’m not sorry he was there or that I asked for his help. I’m not sorry he and Ariney are our best friends.”

Jax is silent at that. Gon takes advantage of the moment of quiet to try the Emitter technique again. And again. And again.

“Fine. Don’t apologize,” Jax says at long last. “But we need to at least get Ariney back. And you better think twice before using Killua and Ariney as springboards for finding Ging and Katyin again.”

Gon wrinkles his nose. “I didn’t _want_ to use Killua and Ariney like that. There was just no other option.”

“Yeah, well, the next time there’s _‘no other option’,_ it had better be for a better cause than achieving your goals, Gon. I don’t want to lose them just because you were blinded by ambition.”

Gon huffs. _'That’s kind of rich, coming from my own soul.'_

_'That’s exactly why I’m saying it. I know you best. And I know how much it would hurt for us to lose our only friends.'_

It’s Gon’s turn to be quiet. Jax’s statement has an ominous sort of tone to it. But his worrying is pointless. Gon won’t lose Killua. How could he? They’re best friends and partners and they’re going to find Ging together. Nothing had torn them apart yet and Gon didn’t see how anything could. 

“How do you think we can get Ariney back?” Gon asks after a heavy pause. Sweat is gathering on his forehead again and his arm is burning with the effort of staying upright. “She could—could be anywhere.”

Jax’s tail swishes through the air as he sits down in the hot sand. _'I think I have an idea.'_

**-o0o-**

Killua is staring into the fire when Gon plops down beside him, a long sigh escaping between his best friend’s lips.

“Done for the day?” Killua asks, side-eyeing the exhausted boy next to him.

“Mhm.” Sweat beads shine on Gon’s forehead and his arms shake slightly just from the effort of leaning on his palms. 

Killua turns back to the warmth of the fire. He prods the logs with a long stick he found a few hours ago, asking, “Didn’t manage to get the emitter technique under control yet, huh?”

“Nope,” Gon huffs, brow furrowing. “I will soon though! It’s only a matter of time before I figure it out.”

Killua fights down the urge to huff. Gon figuring out Bisky’s level five Emitter training is about as soon to happen as Bayanai flying—which is to say, never. Gon’s powerful, sure, but Bisky’s also taking a risk rushing Gon and Jax’s training like this. Maybe Killua and Ariney could help if they hadn’t gotten so banged up during that fight with Razor, but—

“Where’s Ariney?” Gon’s question jolts Killua out of his thoughts. “I haven’t seen her in a while. Is she okay?”

“She’s—” Killua spaces out, feeling for that familiar warm glow always tucked into the corner of his mind, “—by that lake I showed you last night. She needs some time alone, I think.”

The lie leaves a bad taste in his mouth. Ariney is hiding—hiding from Gon and Jax, from Bisky, and even from Killua. She could barely walk from the pain of their injuries and nearly every animal shape she’s ever tried requires the use of some limb. 

Her shame is acute and cuts Killua down to the core. There’s nothing to be ashamed about. This is totally different from back when they were in the Zoldyck mason. They won’t get punished for showing weakness. They’d only gotten hurt because they were helping Gon and Jax. And they would both gladly and proudly bare that pain again just for that honor. 

“Is she too far for me to visit?” 

Killua looks sharply at Jax—a jackal today, with short fur that glows gold like Gon’s skin and eyes and smile—and the dæmon stares right back. It’s almost unnerving sometimes how direct Jax can be. It makes Killua feel weirdly vulnerable, like he’s been stripped bare.

Gon makes him feel that way too, sometimes. But Killua doesn’t like to dwell on Gon the way Gon makes him feel these days.

“Yeah,” he says after a short pause. “Too far for you. Sorry.”

Jax wilts and Killua frowns. Has this been the reason why Jax has been acting so distant the past few days? Killua had thought he and Gon were just tired from their match with Razor and the tough training Bisky and Bayanai has been putting them through. 

But what if it has nothing to do with that? What if he just misses Ariney?

Warmth bubbles inside Killua’s chest. The thought shouldn’t make Killua as happy as he does, but he can’t help it. Isn’t it natural to be wanted by the person you want to be close to? 

Gon reaches over to scratch the top of Jax’s head, rubbing right between his ears. “It’s okay, I’m sure she’ll be back soon.”

Jax throws Gon a narrow-eyed look. “But I want to see her _now,”_ he grumbles and Killua almost laughs at how _Gon_ he sounds.

 _'Someone’s missing you,'_ Killua thinks. A few seconds pass, then—

 _'Really?'_ Ariney asks, a mix of hope and joy. He can feel her swirling emotions, the doubt and fear and self-disgust rolling inside her like a churning wave. She’s scared to come out. She doesn’t want anyone to see her pain; they’d been punished for that sort of thing back at home. 

Killua can relate. Even now he’s keeping twinges of sharp, prickling pain off his face every time he flicks a finger.

Jax lets out a short breath, then curls into himself on the ground between his and Gon’s feet. His tail swishes dangerously close to Killua’s right shoe but Killua doesn’t dare move away. He just holds his breath and pretends like he doesn’t notice the short distance between himself and his best friend’s dæmon. Like his heart hasn’t started to race or every part of his body is on edge.

He likes it—the strange, dangerous game he and Ariney are playing with Gon and Jax. Pushing the boundaries—the taboo—of what’s acceptable between dæmons and humans and what’s not. It makes Killua wonder just what this warm, swelling feeling growing between them really is.

But he decides to let his dæmon come to her own conclusions, sending her the sad image of Jax at his feet.

There are a few beats of silence.

 _'I’m coming,'_ Ariney says finally, finally, and Killua’s lips crack into a smile.

_'See you soon.'_

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't expecting to post a fic today, but my family got some really good news so I'm feeling really happy and wanted to celebrate ^-^
> 
> I finished this fic a few months ago, I think? I actually wrote Killua's pov a long looooong time ago back in 2017 as a [request](https://decembercamiecherries.tumblr.com/post/164233492118/wkdkfjskka-i-cant-believe-you-have-a-his-dark) so I kind of just built Gon's pov based on that. It was a lot of fun to have Gon arguing with his soul about what happened to Killua because of the dodgeball game - I really do think Gon wouldn't regret having Killua hold the ball but he would be very torn about the pain he caused Killua. It was also interesting to write how Ariney would be affected by Killua's damaged hands since dæmons can both feel and be hurt by their humans' injuries.
> 
> That's all I have to say I believe! Thank you for reading, this series is near and dear to my heart and I love hearing people's opinions on it ^-^ until next time~
> 
> [[Here's my dæmon au tag](https://decembercamiecherries.tumblr.com/tagged/daemon-au) on my tumblr if anyone would like to know more about this daemon au!]  
> (And [here's](https://twitter.com/decembercamie) my twitter)
> 
> -
> 
> Gon Freecss — (m) Jax (full name Jaxtor). During the time this fic takes place, he isn't Settled. Eventually he Settles as a wolverine when he and Gon see Kite’s manipulated body without Kite’s dæmon.
> 
> Killua Zoldyck — (f) Ariney (formerly Ariadney). During the time this fic takes place, she isn't Settled and doesn't favor a specific shape. Eventually she Settles as a spotted cheetah when Killua pulls out Illumi’s Needle. She also has lighter fur than average cheetah due to Godspeed.
> 
> Bisky — (m) Bayanai. Settled as an east african oryx.
> 
> Ging Freecss — (f) Katyin. Settled as a slender mongoose.


End file.
